WORST. FRIES. EVER. (or not)

Those of you who know me well also know that when it comes to fries, my knees go weak. (French) Fries are practically my kryptonite. Sad, I know. How anyone can deny the awesomeness that are fries baffles me to no end.

Yahoo! Health recently posted an article titled "America's Worst French Fries (and What You Should Eat Instead)." Penned by two editors from Men's Health magazine, the article goes right into some of the "worst" fry options in several categories. Based on their findings, this is what we now know of American fries:

WORST CURLY FRIES: Arby's Curly Fries (Large), clocking in at 640 calories & 34 grams of fat. (The 'better' option from Arby's? An order of small Homestyle Fries, with roughly half the calories and fat.)

WORST WEDGE FRIES: Jack in the Box Bacon Cheddar Wedges, with 715 calories & 45 grams of fat. (Incidentally, I don't remember these being on Jack's menu...?!)

Best of the worst: Arby's Curly Fries & Jack in the Box's cheddar cheese fries

WORST FRIES FOR YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE: Dairy Queen Chili Cheese Fries, which boasts a whopping 1,240 calories. Why anyone would want fries from "Dairy Queen" is beyond me. Hello, ice cream and/or Blizzards only. Thanks.

WORST REGULAR ORDER OF FRIES: Large order of Five Guys Fries, which truly is a sopping mess of 1,424 calories. Fat. Pure fat. (They say that a half serving of their regular fries is better.)

WORST FRIES IN AMERICA: Chili's Texas Cheese Fries w/Jalapeno Ranch ---which sounds amazing...! But for 1,920 cals, not so much. Again, Chili's offers "homestyle fries" as the "better" option. *YAWN*

Apparently, the best fries in America still go to those Golden Arches. A small order of McD's french fries are still the best in the U.S. Which doesn't say much. For those who are actually a little more worldly, and believe that - yes, there is a world outside the United States, you must know that America simply does NOT have the best fries in the world. While the French may have coined the term, my heart (and vote) actually goes out to the Belgians, whose frites are simply the best fried potato sticks in all the Universe & World! (Note: The DC area needs to get on the bandwagon and open up a frites shop. DC, why are you so 10 years later with stuff, like cupcakes...?) And how genius are they for their specialty "dipping sauces...?" Gosh, I love those Belgians. Between their frites, their waffles, and their beers -- I just don't know which tops that totem pole. I give them all a big, fat '10!'

frjtz: My favorite Belgian frites shop in San Francisco

Special mention, however, goes out to the Canadians... French Canadians, to be exact. After all, they are the geniuses who were the promulgators of the ever-so-popular-yet-disgusting-at-the-same-time fries with gravy. And I'm not talking about the lame American version. The French Canadian Poutine Québécoise is a carefully prepared dish of French fries, topped with fresh cheese curd, covered with brown gravy. (No, I'm not talking about cheap-a$$ American cheese in a can, either.) Poutine has evolved to become a popular "greasy spoon" staple in Quebec, and most of Canada, spawning versions that crossed both the American and Mexican borders. (Think American cheese fries, or Mexican carne asada fries; the latter being YUM.)

Poutine Québécoise (Photo: Francis Vachon)

Needless to say, I have just gained an additional 7,000 pounds writing/typing this post. Yum.

MEET ME AT 'THE HALL'

West Hollywood is certainly known for being an interesting place. It's kind of that 'middle ground' between gritty Hollywood and the more relaxed Westside, making it a perfect place for clubs, lounges, bars and restaurants. It is home to the Sunset Strip, as well as La Cienega Boulevard's Restaurant Row. You'll find cool dives like Barney's Beanery (the original), and uber chic spots like Bar 1200 at the Sunset Marquis Hotel. It's also home to some of Los Angeles' infamous nightlife: Area, Sky Bar, Bar Marmont to name a few. And it also boasts super-hot restaurants like Koi, Asia de Cuba, and NYC-transplants STK and BLT Steak.

Smack dab in the middle of where Santa Monica Boulevard meets La Cienega is a nice little "getaway" called Palihouse. It proudly refers to itself as a place that offers the best of a boutique hotel and a luxury residence. Their main draw is their huge lounge area, whose theme is a well-mixed concoction of bohemian-chic and Euro-hipster zip. Unlike other Hollywood and WeHo spots, the Palihouse doesn't give off any hints of pretentiousness. While the clientele is an obvious fusion of folks from nearby Beverly Hills and the hipster WeHo crowd, there seems to be nothing but smiles and good times happening here. The staff is attentive and friendly, the hosts --with their heavy French accents-- are welcoming and hospitable, and the vibe of the place is chill, yet substantial. Kitschy photographs line parts of the walls, while sexy couches and chairs of all shapes and sizes are scattered around the dimly lit room. And there are even turntables at an old-school desk-turned-swank-DJ-stand. (Oh, and there's an oyster bar, too... Score!)

While the lounge earns kudos, their restaurant is the real star. The Hall Courtyard Brasserie is situated in the middle of the property's quad. It boasts an open ceiling, with sweeping views of the condotel's upper floor windows and terraces. Heat-lamps (which are a must for most L.A. evenings) help to warm the area on cooler nights, but ladies are also offered woolen throws to wrap around to keep toasty. Stringed lights swash across the air, giving off the feeling that you're dining in a Mediterranean courtyard.

What drew me here was the menu; a delicate offering of "traditional bistro cuisine" with a "market-driven modern edge." Chef Brendan Collins, whose experience has seen him through London's Cafe Royale and Pied-A-Terre, brings vibrancy, color and flavor to the impressive menu.

My friends, who are probably some of my favorite 'restaurant' people in L.A., and I tried plenty of things off the menu. We originally were feeling cheese and a charcuterie plate after having a few drinks. But our waitress advised that the cheese could leave us feeling "full," and she wanted us to really experience what The Hall had to offer. Noted.

We started off with a Braised Pork Shank Raviolo, which I can only describe as "prodigious." The pork filling was thick and oozing with flavor against a pommery mustard sheen. And to add to the sweetness of the dish was a caramelized apple slice. This was followed by a Yellowtail Crudo (with avocado, red grapefruit, and herb salad), which was fresh and just as flavorful; the citrus working as a nice palate cleanser. The third appetizer was a Roast Beet Salad made of goat cheese, blood oranges, walnuts and beet romesco; light and fresh.

A few swigs of beer and wine later, our main dishes made their way to our table much to our delectation. Jess ordered the Black Cod with cuit a la viennoise and creamed spinach. The fish was delicately prepared, and imbued with gusto. Tracey ordered the Roast Halibut, with seafood ragout, spring veggies and basil; another amazingly prepared fish. Tracey's husband, Chris, ordered a special: Kansas City Fillet, which was definitely one of the most flavorful steaks I have ever tasted in these past few years in L.A. My dish: Moules et Frites - my all-time favorite. If I see this on the menu of a French or Belgian-esque restaurant, I will try it. This dish usually makes or breaks its respective restaurant in my eyes. The Palihouse's version, made with a saffron curry sauce, was light, yet savory... effortless, yet gratifying; a sure hit for me. Oh, and those truffle shoestring fries weren't so bad either... (!) The experience was topped-off with a Chocolate Muffin, which ended up not being an actual "muffin" at all, but a warm serving of chocolate with dulce de leche ice cream and caramelized bananas.

Jess' Black Cod

My Moules in saffron curry

Truffled Frites (how i love thee...)

Stuffed as we were, we continued the night back in the lounge for one more round of drinks. Conversation was endless, laughs were rampant... an ideal end to a nice night of fun, friends, and food. Oh-so-good food.
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The Hall Courtyard Brasserie @ Palihouse Holloway, 8465 Holloway Drive, West Hollywood, CA 9006, 323.656.4020

THERE'S NOTHIN' LIKE A GOOD OL' FRITE...!

I am a firm believer that – in another life – I was one of the McDonald’s “Fry Guys.” You remember those things, right? They were the little pom-pom-lookin’ creatures that were always eating fries while the Hamburglar would steal hamburgers. No doubt that they were scary-ass, but absolutely harmless. This aside, I cannot remember when I became such a fry fanatic. As a kid, I remember eating fries from fast-food places, but never really loving them. My mom and dad used to get fries from McDonald’s, and dip them in the soft-served ice cream… YUMMM!!! That’s a taste that, till this day, reminds me of childhood.

When college rolled around, fries became an even more prevalent part of my daily diet (and it shoved me way past the “freshman 15”). At the dining hall, I would always grab a side of fries. At the student union, the gang and I would always pick-up fries from Roy Rogers (which is no longer there; how sad) and we’d mix together ketchup, mayo and pepper as our dip du jour. It was the number one meal eaten at the FCA office (Roy’s fries, Days of Our Lives, and skipping class – daily ritual).

These days, I see fries as both a “pleasure” and “pain…” It’s a pain in my ass because when I eat too much, that shit accumulates right around my ass (and other places). But they are always a pleasure to eat; a never-failing party in my mouth. Some days I think I only love them for the crunch factor, but other days I am certain that I just love them for what they are: sheer deliciousness.

While I have some favorites, I tend to not be discriminatory when it comes to picking and choosing my fries. I usually welcome fries of all types with open arms (and an open mouth). Last year, Citysearch put out their “Best French Fries 2007” list for Los Angeles, which consisted of the following:

#10: Table 8 (Los Angeles/Melrose)
#9: Father’s Office (Editorial Winner; Santa Monica/Montana)
#8: Cassell’s (Los Angeles/Downtown)
#7: In-N-Out Burger
#6: Carney’s Restaurant (West Hollywood/Sunset)
#5: Islands
#4: Backstage Bar & Grill (Culver City)
#3: Taste on Melrose (Los Angeles/Melrose)
#2: The Oinkster (Eagle Rock)
#1: Café Flore (Audience Winner; Beverly Hills)

Of the choices from the list above, I have only had fries at four of the spots. I’m not too sure I’d spend much to order fries at Table 8 or Taste on Melrose, and I have to question why In-N-Out is even on this list (burgers are fine, but their fries are nothing special at all). I am a staunch supporter of the fries (regular & sweet potato) from Father’s Office, and Islands and Carney’s both deserve honorable mentions.

If it were up to me, however, I would knock-off at least half of the spots listed, and my list would probably include these instead:

Beechwood (Venice)
The Counter (Santa Monica)
Cabo Cantina (Brentwood)
West @ The Hotel Angeleno (Los Angeles)
Life on Wilshire (Los Angeles)
Canter’s (Los Angeles)

For your basic, run-of-the-mill deli-style fries, Canter’s would be a hands-down choice. I prefer theirs over those served up at other local delis. Beechwood (in Venice) offers three different types: shoe string, ¼ inch, and sweet potato. Try one, or all three, with three house-made dipping sauces. Not too far away in Santa Monica is The Counter, where fries are available with cheese, cheese & chili, or as sweet potato. Added bonus, you can order fries with onion strings as well. Yum. Cabo Cantina used to have smothered cheese fries, which were disgusting. But I went the other night, and the fries had a cheesy sauce on the side this time around. It also seemed like the fries were lightly dusted with some kind of yum seasoning – I couldn’t pin-point what it was exactly. But after that experience, it was easily added to my list. At West (The Hotel Angeleno), fries are cooked in special truffle oil –easily making these one of the more amazing choices in the area. Finally, for me at least, Life on Wilshire offers regular fries AND “curry” fries served with Indian ketchup. It’s surely one of the more interesting ways to serve good ol’ frites. To this list you can add Father’s Office, Islands, Carney’s, and maybe Del Taco’s crinkle fries instead of the el bore-o In-N-Out fries (only because I’m a sucker for crinkle fries), and you’d have my comprehensive list of favorite fries in Los Angeles.

Notable fries from other cities: Belgian frites at Frjtz are easily the best in San Francisco; Hot Doug’s fries are one of Chicagoland’s finest; Belgian frites at Brasserie Beck in DC are probably my favorite in an upscale setting, while Ledo’s Pizza (the original in College Park, MD) serves up the best casual waffle fries: dusted with Old Bay seasoning and dipped in ranch; In NYC, I personally hold a soft-spot for the frites at Les Halles; and Boston Beer Works serves up a decent frite in Beantown.

Notable fries from national restaurant chains: The garlic fries at Gordon Biersch easily tops this list; the Houston’s chain offers tasty, skinny fries; and Red Robin gets an honorable mention for their bottomless steak fries.

If I could eat fries every day ---I would. But my body would hate me for it. So in the meantime, I’ll have to leave it all to my imagination. (Sigh.)

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The awesome photos on this post are not my own, but are from members of Flickr (McDonald's fries - from Sutanto; Father's Office fries - from he cooks she eats; The Counter fries - from evilmidori; Gordon Biersch fries - from chrisglass... thank you!).