SHEER DOUCHERY

I am almost positive that the world is absolutely tired of hearing about the crazy "octo mom" from California. At times, I don't know what's worse -- the fact that she's from California (my adopted home), or the fact that she's a heaping-hot mess.

What's really bad is that it's taken me this long to chime in. But hey, with life comes responsibilities. And the past few days I've been preoccupied with ditties like deciding whether or not I should work-out, figuring out where I'll be meeting friends for drinks, or pondering socio-environmental theories like global warming. Yeah, I've obviously had other things on my mind. Oh right, did I forget to mention that I'll be jobless in a couple of months? I may have completely forgotten about that fact ever since I've reached the "acceptance" stage of grief.

Excuse me. I just yawned.

In my world, I find it hard to escape news that is laden with douchery. Whether or not "douchery" is a grammatically acceptable term, I have no other words to describe the mess that is the octo mom. Yes, I just called Nadya Suleman a douche. Obviously she's not one in the same sense as, say, Ryan Seacrest. In fact, she may not be an actual douche, but the woman is definitely guilty of douchery. (So duh, that totally makes her a douche.)

So let's list some of Nadya's buffoonery:

(1) Nadya is a single-mom.

OK, I am not hating on her for being a single-mom. I actually place single-mom's close to my heart, because many of them are the sheer epitome of what a strong, beautiful woman is. (Shout-outs to my friends who are single-moms!) But let's face the facts here. Douchey Suleman already had six children before she plowed on with more of her invetro hijinks. Yes, her previous six children are the products of IVF. The new eight, well, you pretty much get the picture. This being said, I will re-phrase my statement: "Nadya is a STUPID & IRRESPONSIBLE single-mom." Better.

(2) Nadya thought that she'd be able to capitlize on her faux-fame as the IVF queen.

So Douchey Suleman is no "John & Kate + Eight." But I'm sure she was thinking that she'd trump John and Kate's celebrity with her own. But apparently DS will go down in infamy rather than celebrity. Faux-fame is no fame, bitch.

(3) Nadya got nipped and tucked.

Yes, I'm referring to her face. The woman is HURT! I'm almost positive that she got her facial work done by the same person who did Lisa Rinna's botched face job. It is apparent that DS' goal to be like Angelina (Jolie) was not reached; nor will it ever be. DS just looks like a fat chick with fat, fake lips. First of all, where they hell did this bitch get money for her IVF treatment? Secondly, where did she get the money to get her face did? Third, where does she get the money to raise her family? Is the current state of California's financial crisis partly due to DS' douchery?! I'm beginning to sense the connection here.

So I've managed to list three of DS' idiocies. I could probably list more, but I'm getting a headache trying.

I shall end my thoughts with this: Nadya "Douchey" Suleman is nothing but a claptrap. I feel sorry for her brood of innocent children, and I honestly only wish them the best. But in all reality, their mom needs to get her head straight. Too bad there isn't a pill to quell any sense of douchery.