MOVIE RUN-DOWN...

In all honesty, I am NOT a movie-buff. Ask me about food, and I'll give you my schpeel any day. When it comes to movies? Eh, not so much. I mean I love movies, but I am not one to head out to the theater on opening night, nor will I wait in line just to attempt to get tickets to preview shows. I will, however, watch movies just because... either a friend wants to watch it, so I'll go watch it with them. Or I'll really-really want to watch it. Case in point: Watchmen, I really wanna watch. I can't really think of something that I don't really care about at the moment.

So here are three movies that I've seen in the past few weeks, and my personal take on each:

CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC
Forced to watch, or wanted to: I plead the fifth.
Grade: B+
Personal Take: So ok, part of me was curious. Anything that has to do with shopping on any level is reason enough for me to take notice. But in truth, I'd never read the book(s). What I know about these books is that 1) they are probably one of the most "important" books in the "chick lit" genre, and 2) they're supposedly extremely entertaining. I guess that would depend on the person reading, huh?

It was an OK movie. The whole "romantic-comedy" thing worked here. And, personally, I think that Isla Fisher is awesome. I've loved her since Wedding Crashers, and I recently saw her on Definitely, Maybe (uh, it was showing at the gym so I figured I'd watch it). She's easily becoming one of my favorite fun/funny actresses. B+.

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
Forced to watch, or wanted to: Reference previous review.
Grade: B
Personal Take: This one's based on another book... One that I didn't read (again), nor do I plan on reading it. (I don't plan on reading the Confessions books either, just PS.) I didn't know what to expect, although I did hear that the book wasn't really the "story-telling" kind. But they worked it out fine enough, and were able to muster-up a few story lines to help bring the book to life.

As usual, it focused mainly on the stories revolving love-lorn singles. Gag me. I say that only because I know that there are just as many single people who are out and about, and are comfortable with their "status." And that I'm totally cool with. But there are also some who are out there who can't seem to not stomp their feet on the ground and complain about how they aren't finding the one. Uh, patience is a virtue, don't go looking for it, yada-yada, blah-blah-BLAH. The "love-lorn" singles in the movie made me want to stab myself. But the pleasant surprise was that there was a story about a married couple who eventually broke-up, and decided it best to carry on with their lives to work on themselves... sorta. I kind of relate the story-line to Kirsten Dunst's character on Mona Lisa Smiles. So if you know, then you know. Anyway. B (It doesn't get the "+" because Isla Fisher was not involved.).

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
Forced to watch, or wanted to: Absoultely WANTED to.
Grade: A+++
Personal Take: Fine. I am probably one of the last people on Earth to see this movie. OK, that's surely an over-statement. But really. I've been wanting to see this since it won "best movie" at the Golden Globes. So I finally saw it, and wow --- I was pretty floored. The story is/was genius.

In order to NOT spoil the story for those who have yet to watch it, I will not go into details. But at the end of the day, it is one of the best "feel good" movies ever made. I especially love that it showcased Mumbai, and the truth about poverty in 3rd world Asia. It reminded me of the things I've seen in The Philippines back in the day. My heart was broken for all the hardships shown, but at the same time, I found redemption in the perseverance of others. (*cough*JAMIL*cough*)

I know the film wasn't exactly "Bollywood," but still. It has elevated the art of Bollywood-esque cinema, and has put the Indian (South Asian) "story" on the international map. After watching the movie, I am now absolutely assured that it deserved the Oscar for "Best Movie." A+++.

COOKBOOK SPOTLIGHT: TAPAS...

I am, by no means, an expert when it comes to food. While I know what I like when it comes to cooking, I am not a trained chef. Any nuance that I may display in the kitchen is a distinct trait that I've picked-up from my parents, who I consider to be very talented cooks.

My mom grew up as the baby of her family, and essentially never had to lift a finger in the kitchen. It wasn't until she came to America, as an inexperienced bride to a then neophyte U.S. serviceman (My dad is Filipino; my mom ain't no mail-order bride. I'm just sayin'!), that she had to learn her way around a kitchen. She credits her cousin (my Aunt Linda Romero from Jacksonville, FL) and her kumare* (my Aunt Norma Villarivera from Ft. Washington, MD) as two of her main influences when it comes to cooking traditional Philippine cuisine. My dad, on the other hand, built his experience from the mess halls of naval ships and bases, and eventually became a personal cook to a few Labor Department Secretaries during the terms of Ronald Reagan and Bush Sr. Through the years, mom has become known for her personal take on Philippine dishes, while dad specializes in continental fare. Lucky for me, I've always had the best of both worlds when it came to eating well at home.

It may have been my dad's influence, however, that encouraged me to have an open-minded take on international cuisine. With Philippine dishes being the norm growing up, it was the dishes that my dad would prepare that really made me sit-up and pay attention when it came to learning the ways and means of the kitchen. While I can spit out a recipe for sinigang* without really thinking about it, I take a more delicate approach when it comes to preparing dishes that my dad could easily put-together (his Quiche Lorraine comes to mind). And I think it's that same delicate approach that I take when it comes to cooking cuisines from other parts of the world.

For me, I find that it's important to stick to the details of special ingredients when it comes to creating a meal. For instance, I find that sesame oil is an integral part of East Asian cooking, while fish sauce serves an important purpose in the cuisines of Southeast Asia. The Italians love their fresh herbs and cheeses, while vinegar plays a special role in the food of Central France. Ultimately, the cuisine of the world transcends many things, and often is more of a way of life, than merely something left to the confines of the kitchen walls.

Personally, I have always admired Spanish cuisine, and most especially, tapas*. Like many cuisines of the world, the various regions of Spain each have their own distinct way of preparing dishes. From the different types of crab pastes popular in Aragonese cuisine, the use of piquillo peppers in Basque country, and the richly prepared seafood and paella of Valencia, the Spanish kitchen offers lessons in history, unique cultural influences, and even healthy cooking.

I stumbled upon Tapas: A Taste of Spain in America while perusing the cook books at Barnes & Noble the other day. The book boasts a collection of over 100 palatable recipes for Spanish tapas. Chef Jose Andres (of Jaleo & Minibar fame) takes readers on a journey through the culinary wonders of Spain, pulling in his own personal experiences growing up in the Asturia region. He extols on the culinary traditions of Spain, referring to them as "a lifestyle" more so than anything else. He even offers suggestions on how to simplify dishes using simple ingredients.

Since tapas have become such a strong part of the American "foodie" scene, they have also been instrumental in straightening up the often-confusing line between Spanish and Mexican cusines. As one of the bright shining stars among today's American chefs, Jose Andres whole-heartedly introduces the beauty of Spanish cusine into the kitchens of America through this book. His pride in his culinary roots reminds me of my mom's personal connection to the cuisine of her native Philippines, and his penchant to create world-class meals I find akin to my dad's own talent in the kitchen.

The cookbook is sheer-breakthrough inspiration for cooks that want to delve into the world of Spanish tapas, and there is something to be found for everyone. From Monkfish with Romesco Sauce to Figs with Spanish Ham, there is a broad spectrum of Spanish cooking to be found in these pages. It will surely make a wonderful addition to any cook's library.
---

Language Lesson:

Kumare is the Tagalog term of endearment that is given to a woman as a designation for the highest level of friendship. It is usually bestowed upon a woman who is called upon to become a God-mother thru a child's baptism, confirmation, and/or wedding. However, in modern days, the term is loosely used to refer to very close friends. The term for the male designation is kumpare.

Sinigang is a "sour" soup that is an integral part of Philippine cuisine. Its characteristic flavor comes from either the tamarind or guava. It can be prepared with either fish, shrimp, chicken, pork or beef (pork, fish, and/or shrimp being the more popular), and an array of vegetables including (but not limited to) okra, eggplant, green beans, and water spinach (or kangkong).

Tapas refers to a wide variety of appetizers, or small plates, very popular in Spanish cusine. Variations are served cold, while others are served warm. Dishes range from stuffed olives, fried fish, poached eggs, to braised beef cubes. Tapas are served to encourage conversation, and are often served alongside wine, beer and alcohol; a version of "bar" food served in-between the time slot between lunch and dinner.

(Photo from amazon.com)

C-C-CRAVIN' C-C-CURRRRRY...

Today is Ash Wednesday, and I am going to attempt to fast for the most part of the day. I did bag a small lunch of seafood curry & rice to get me through, so hopefully that ties me over. I'll have to leave myself to the mercy of water and will power. Mind over matter, right?!

Mind over matter aside, I can't help but c-c-craaaavvveeee curry. I don't know what it is about it, or why I'm having this blast of curry-itis. But it's here, and I have to deal with it as best as I can. Right now, I am craving Hurry Curry.

Nestled in a little strip mall along Sawtelle, in West L.A.'s own mini "Japan Town," (err--there's also a decent pho place in the same strip mall, but I think even that is run by Japanese business-owners), Hurry Curry is a little piece of heaven in West L.A. Add the fact that Beard Papa is across the street, and Chabuya ramen is further up the road, then your heaven has just expanded to an even happier place. Eff Disneyland.

Japan's most popular "fast" food is, indeed, curry. And thankfully, the L.A. area's own Japan towns are not without their favorite curry house. Not to discredit the Curry House that's across the street from HC (which is just as good, btw), but today I am particularly craving HC's Tokyo Curry: ground beef, mixed veggies, Japanese curry, and a hard-boiled egg. Effin' yummo.

The menu doesn't end there. There are great appz including gyoza, fried calamari, and ground beef/potato croquettes. And on a rainy day (which is rare), their soups are perfect against the gloomy air: miso soup, cream corn soup, or lobster bisque. Curry-wise, each dish can be made with either vegetables, beef, chicken, pork, or seafood, and can be served over rice or pasta. Order your curry spicy, medium spicy, or mild, and you're good to go.

HC also serves up a mean spaghetti dish, Japanese-style. Somewhat similar to "Filipino" spaghetti, Japanese spaghetti is full of tomatoey goodness... just sweeter. Order your spaghetti Neapolitan style (with ham, bell peppers and onions), or with beef or pork cutlet (among other additions). Or go for something completely out of the spaghetti-box, and choose the Hiyashi - chilled pasta with shrimp, cucumber slices, hard-boiled egg, and pickled ginger, served with a soy-vinaigrette dressing.

Oh, and if you want your curry experience to be a little "saucy," then order a brewski or a carafe of sake (chilled or warmed). Happy Hour is from 3:00PM to 6:00PM, Monday through Friday; specials include $2 appetizers, $2 beers, as well as $2 saketinis.

Even during this Lenten season, there's something for everyone at Hurry Curry. So hurry on over and get your curry on...!
---

Hurry Curry of Tokyo, 2131 Sawtelle Boulevard, Wes Lost Angeles, CA 90025 310-473-1640

(Photos from www.hurrycurryoftokyo.com & www.restodb.com respectively)

"FAT" TUESDAY

Fat Tuesday is practically over, and in just a few hours the Lenten season will officially commence. I can't even begin to understand how fast this year is already passing by. But it's a reminder that as time passes, it's up to us to make our time worthwhile.

The funny part of Fat Tuesday is that we automatically think of it as a day to go balls-out crazy, and OD on things that we hope to give up as a "sacrifice" for the next 40 days. Think Mardis Gras or Carnivale de Venezia. It's supposed to be a day of debauchery, giving way to Ash Wednesday - the beginning of the 40 days and 40 nights of fasting before the Easter Season.

While many of us get wrapped-up in the hysteria of what to give up, I think we forget the real meaning of Lent. We become more concerned with giving up "bad" foods, or "bad" habits, and in many ways the typical Lenten sacrifice turns out to be an "alternative" way of enforcing personal diets. I am guilty as charged, and have decided that as part of my Lenten sacrifice I will give up fried food, as well as visits to the drive thru.

That said, you're probably wondering what I accomplished at lunch today... or not. Anyway, I ate an order of fries AND an order of onion rings ... oh so good, yet ridiculously horrid at the same time. Yup, I totally skipped my "healthy" lunch and opted for the fat-laden goodness. Oh, did I mention the two donuts that I ate earlier in the day? (Plus the pan de sal... oh, and the cupcake... I'm gross.)

Self-serving "alterno-diet-cum-Lenten-sacrifice" aside, I decided that this season I had to do something more than just give something up. I feel that Lent is the perfect time for personal reflection, and I'm going to use the next 40 days to strengthen that relationship I have with God. I'm not 100% sure how I'll accomplish this, but I'm determined to. Whether it's through improving my personal prayer time, doing selfless acts, being a better person in general, or putting others first -- I feel called to do something more than just giving up "bad" food or other poor habits.

As I plow along, I humbly ask that you pray for me, and I'll surely pray for you.

THE POST-OSCAR MONOLOGUES

Oh, the Oscars.

They've become one of America's most anticipated pastimes; somehow finding a place for itself on the shelf between baseball and apple pie. It is an event when and where Hollywood is propelled to the highest echelons of the American psyche, which says a lot despite this flattening economy that our world faces. The drivel that we hear on the news regarding the problems of our country (as well as others), and the poor economic state that it is bathing in, can pretty much put a damper on anyone's day. But that's why we have Hollywood. Hollywood takes us away from the somewhat paralyzing reality that is life, and in doing so it serves as a reminder that at the end of the day, life really isn't all that bad. And we have the characters (errr... the actors/actresses who play them) to thank for that.

Take, for instance, Anne Hathaway's character, Kym, in the film Rachel Getting Married. Annie H. climbs the ranks from princess to fashion mag flunkie to just-out-of-rehab-addict-whose-sister-is-getting-married-the-next-day. Talk about being in a shitty situation. Kym reminds us that life, in general, isn't so bad for most of us. Then there's Hayden Christensen's character, David Rice (in Jumper), who runs in fear of a group called the Paladins, who are out to rid the world of "jumpers" like himself. It doesn't help that his biological mother is a Paladin, too. Some life, huh? Oh, and you can't deny the shitty life of April & Frank Wheeler (Kate Winslet & Leo DiCaprio) in Revolutionary Road. I have nothing more to say about that.

But life in movies isn't always so tragic. There is the "silent" romance in WALL-E, which is shared between two robots. There is the redemption story of 27 Dresses, in which Jane (played by Katherine Heigl) - "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" - gets the last laugh when she finally ties the knot and has a long line of bridesmaids wearing each of the tacky gowns she had to wear for their weddings through the years. And finally, there is the story of Jamal Malik in Slumdog Millionaire... the Mumbai street-rat who is suspected of cheating on a national game show. Jamal finds atonement when he clearly justifies his answers by telling his story about family, life on the streets, and his lost love.

Movies take us out of our very own realities, albeit briefly, and help us to put things into perspective. From the stories as told by our screenwriters, from the perspectives shown to us by our directors, and from the emotions emanating from our actors we are able to get a sense of some of life's lessons: from the out-right simple ones to the most complex. Movies do not only entertain... they sustain just as well.

And so we have the Oscars --the night the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences crowns the crėme de la crėme of the film world. It's the one night of the year that turns the crappy sidewalks surrounding the Kodak Theater into a magical place. The red carpet beckons people from around the world to crowd around and try to steal a glimpse of their favorite screen stars. The pre-show becomes the most anticipated runway show; a melange of couture straight off the runways of New York, London, Paris, and Milan.

The 81st Academy Awards was truly something. In a mix of strange instances and surreal moments, the show still managed to entertain. There was definitely something for everyone.

Hugh Jackman served as host, which was definitely a big jump (not in a bad NOR good way) from the days of Billy Crystal. At times I felt like I was watching the Tony Awards (which Jackman has hosted in the past), and the song and dance numbers were reminiscent of that. Thankfully, Hugh Jackman is also prolific as a stage actor, and has had his share of roles on Broadway. The sheer fact that he can go from Wolverine to the lead in "The Boy From Oz" is genius. He did a fine job.

There were the filler musical numbers, which never really are at par with the Grammys or Tonys. These are the Oscars, after all, and the musical numbers - although cheesy at best - help to move the show along. Thankfully, each number wasn't as excruciating as they could've been, and none of them lasted too long for viewers to want to poke their eyes out. Beyonce (and, to a tiny extent, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens --why, oh why?) was obviously pulled-in to legitimize one of the performances. Again, Jackman pulled the numbers off as best as he can; his charm and talent winning the crowd over.

Then there were the awards: from best lighting to best screenplay to best actor. Each and every award meant something special to each and every film. Clearly, the audience waited nervously as the awards were called out for the actors. Leading the night was the Best Supporting Actress award. I was hoping that Taraji P. Henson would win. She is from "home," and graduated from my high school just a few years before I entered as a freshman. As of late, she's been turning out roles on the big screen, and is swiftly becoming a seasoned vet. The award went to Penelope Cruz, but I was still proud of Henson for bringing glory to the Oxon Hill/Ft. Washington area. The Best Supporting Actor award was awarded posthumously to the late Heath Ledger, and was accepted on his behalf by his parents and sister.

The highlight of the night came as the awards for Best Actress/Actor were announced. For each category, five previous winners were called on stage. Each of them gave a personal exhortation on the merits of each nominee, which added a touching sense to the evening. Anne Hathaway was almost in tears after Shirley Mclain strongly told her that there are sure to be more nominations in the young actress' future. In a pool of talent that included Hathaway, her The Devil Wears Prada co-star Meryl Streep, Titanic-veteran Kate Winslet, Melissa Leo, and Angelina Jolie -- Kate took the top honor. In a genuine gesutre, she reached over to Angelina as she walked up the stage, and extolled on the virtues of her co-nominees --especially the ever-so-grand Meryl Streep. The Best Actor award was presented in the same way, with Sean Penn winning over heavy favorite, Mickey Rourke.

The biggest winner of all: Slumdog Millionaire. The win was befitting for the little movie that could; truly a "David & Goliath" story in the making. The journey of the movie would make an interesting movie itself! I personally love that it brought glory not only to those who made the film, but to Mumbai, and the people of India.

In general, this year's Oscar show was a sure hit compared to last year's. Aside from Jack Black's not-so-funny exchange with Jen Aniston, Ben Stiller's take on Joaquin Phoenix (it was funny for a minute, but then got old), and the uncomfy Jerry Lewis moment, the show rocked. Some of the speeches were a tad bit long, but it's the Oscars for sobbing out loud.

One thing's for sure: James Franco's laughs and smiles during the Pineapple Express-esqe presentation were hilarious and contagious. He's got my nod for future blockbuster star.

(Photo from www.drafthouse.com)

5 THINGS...

...I currently have an obsession with curry: Indian, Thai, Japanese, etc. My latest foray in curry-cookingdom: mussels cooked in coconut milk/green curry. I didn't follow a recipe, and totally just went off instinct. Surprisingly it turned out well. Recipe will be posted soon.

...I am officially a big fan of Anne Hathaway, and she's a budding style-icon in her own right.

...Weathered/textured shoes are awesome. Shoes with character are the best ones.

...Kate Winslet, Sean Penn, & Slumdog Millionaire: Phenomenal.

...I know I mentioned that I was into this song sometime last December, but it's officially being released now so I had to give it props (ahahaha):



(Video from music.aol.com)

IN RETROSPECT: "NO RESERVATIONS: PHILIPPINES"

Like many other Filipino Americans, I was absolutely looking forward to checking out Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show this past Monday as he finally featured The Philippines. Chef Bourdain has had his share of Asian cuisine having been to many nations in East, South, Central, and Southeast Asia. As long as the show has been in existence, however, he had never been to The Philippines... until now.

I couldn't help but notice all the East Coasters posting their blips about the show on Facebook three hours before the show aired Pacific time. I tried not to pay attention to all the status updates that people were posting since I wanted to have an untainted opportunity to take in the show, and see what it had to offer. I loved how everyone was talking about Bourdain's love for Philippine lechon. Being the pork lover that he is, I took much pride in the fact that he called Philippine lechon the "best ever."

For me, though, it wasn't the lechon that really sold me. Don't get me wrong, I love me a nicely roasted pig. However, I was more appreciative of the attention the show brought to the less popular aspects of Philippine cuisine.

First of all, I'm glad that they featured the Philippine dampa. The dampa is more than your run-of-the-mill palengke (market). A typical dampa is a place where vegetables and meats can be purchased. But the specialty here is the seafood. Unlike some palengkes where seafood is kept in ice, a dampa will sell only fresh catch, keeping the fish, shrimps, crabs, and other items alive and "wet" (hence the name, "dampa"). The extra-special feature here is that you can take what you've bought, and bring it over to one of the on-site restaurants to be cooked in the way that you want: adobo, sinigang, pinakbet, binagoongan, etc. It's very similar to the wharf in Long Beach, or the spot in Redondo Beach, where you can buy fresh seafood, then have it cooked any way you like. The next time you find yourself in Manila, hit up a dampa. You will not be disappointed.

Dampa in Paranaque

Secondly, I am glad that Bourdain featured the cuisine of the province of Pampanga. I would've preferred that he featured Ilocano cuisine (gotta love my roots!), but Pampangueno cusine is equally amazing. And there are many similarities between Pampangueno and Ilocano fare. One of the most ingenious contributions of Pampanguenos to Philippine cuisine is sisig. I must admit that for many years, I was absolutely petrified to even think about eating sisig. Literally meaning "to snack on something sour," sisig is generally a dish made from parts of a pig’s head and liver, and is usually seasoned with kalamansi and chili peppers. It's a mish-mosh of spicy-salty-sour-sweet flavors, and is generally served as pulutan, or snack food that is served alongside alcohol. I've only had sisig in the States, and I honestly believe that it is made of regular pork meat here. I'm not sure if I can stomach to have the real thing back in the Motha'land, but maybe with a few swigs of Tanduay, I just might be able to handle it.

I'm also quite surprised that they featured pinapaitan, which is a stew generally made with baka (beef), tripe, and bile (among other things). The dish is Ilocano in origin, and is very popular in the northern (Ilocano) region of the country. It has gained popularity in other provinces where Ilocanos have migrated to and made a place for themselves (such as Zambales, Tarlac, Pangasinan, Aurora, and Nueva Ecija). But the Pampanguenos have adopted it as well, and they featured the dish, made with goat meat, on the show. To my surprise, Bourdain enjoyed it! There's definitely an acquired taste to it, and growing up I hated it. But as I got older, it became one of those dishes that I truly craved. When I'm home for the holidays, it's one of mom's/dad's dishes that I look forward to having.

Pinapaitan

On his blog, Chef Bourdain discussed how he was afraid of disappointing Filipino viewers because there was no way he could cover the diversity of the country's cuisine in the span of 45 minutes. To truly capture the diversity of Philippine cuisine, you'd need a series of shows to even come close to covering as much as possible. And there really is a lot to share -- from other Ilocano dishes like dinengdeng and pinakbet, to Bicol Express, to Mindanao's version of adobo --made with coconut milk. There is a plethora of flavors in Philippine cuisine that even the typical Filipino American has yet to explore.

I know that I've barely scratched the surface.

(Photos from du-musings.blogspot.com, manalang.com, & overseaspinoycooking.blogspot.com respectively)

SHEER DOUCHERY

I am almost positive that the world is absolutely tired of hearing about the crazy "octo mom" from California. At times, I don't know what's worse -- the fact that she's from California (my adopted home), or the fact that she's a heaping-hot mess.

What's really bad is that it's taken me this long to chime in. But hey, with life comes responsibilities. And the past few days I've been preoccupied with ditties like deciding whether or not I should work-out, figuring out where I'll be meeting friends for drinks, or pondering socio-environmental theories like global warming. Yeah, I've obviously had other things on my mind. Oh right, did I forget to mention that I'll be jobless in a couple of months? I may have completely forgotten about that fact ever since I've reached the "acceptance" stage of grief.

Excuse me. I just yawned.

In my world, I find it hard to escape news that is laden with douchery. Whether or not "douchery" is a grammatically acceptable term, I have no other words to describe the mess that is the octo mom. Yes, I just called Nadya Suleman a douche. Obviously she's not one in the same sense as, say, Ryan Seacrest. In fact, she may not be an actual douche, but the woman is definitely guilty of douchery. (So duh, that totally makes her a douche.)

So let's list some of Nadya's buffoonery:

(1) Nadya is a single-mom.

OK, I am not hating on her for being a single-mom. I actually place single-mom's close to my heart, because many of them are the sheer epitome of what a strong, beautiful woman is. (Shout-outs to my friends who are single-moms!) But let's face the facts here. Douchey Suleman already had six children before she plowed on with more of her invetro hijinks. Yes, her previous six children are the products of IVF. The new eight, well, you pretty much get the picture. This being said, I will re-phrase my statement: "Nadya is a STUPID & IRRESPONSIBLE single-mom." Better.

(2) Nadya thought that she'd be able to capitlize on her faux-fame as the IVF queen.

So Douchey Suleman is no "John & Kate + Eight." But I'm sure she was thinking that she'd trump John and Kate's celebrity with her own. But apparently DS will go down in infamy rather than celebrity. Faux-fame is no fame, bitch.

(3) Nadya got nipped and tucked.

Yes, I'm referring to her face. The woman is HURT! I'm almost positive that she got her facial work done by the same person who did Lisa Rinna's botched face job. It is apparent that DS' goal to be like Angelina (Jolie) was not reached; nor will it ever be. DS just looks like a fat chick with fat, fake lips. First of all, where they hell did this bitch get money for her IVF treatment? Secondly, where did she get the money to get her face did? Third, where does she get the money to raise her family? Is the current state of California's financial crisis partly due to DS' douchery?! I'm beginning to sense the connection here.

So I've managed to list three of DS' idiocies. I could probably list more, but I'm getting a headache trying.

I shall end my thoughts with this: Nadya "Douchey" Suleman is nothing but a claptrap. I feel sorry for her brood of innocent children, and I honestly only wish them the best. But in all reality, their mom needs to get her head straight. Too bad there isn't a pill to quell any sense of douchery.

HUNGRY, BUT DON'T WANT TO EAT?

On those days when I'm feeling too fat to eat a substantial dinner, I have started making these tomato thingies that look like they should be served at some random soiree where guests saunter around looking gaunt and lithe. Ummm, so maybe that description was a bit much, but you'll get the picture in a sec.

Here are the ingredients:

1 Roma tomato (depending on how thick you want the pieces, you can have anywhere from 5 to 8 slices)
Wheat Thins (or the like; I have the Target brand "Thin Wheats..." lame name, I know)
Hummus (I use Trader Joe's Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus)
Cheese (I had pepper jack cheese slices in the fridge; I used one slice cut into small pieces)
Cold Cuts (Healthy Choice is a good one... you just need one slice of meat cut into pieces; I prefer turkey)
Baby Spinach Leaves
Low Cal or Fat-Free Ranch Dressing

I arrange the tomato slices on a plate, and then I spoon just a dollop of hummus on each slice. Next I place one Wheat Thin cracker on each tomato slice. On top of that I put a slice of turkey meat (or whatever you decide to use; take one slice of sandwich meat and cut into little single pieces). On top of that I place a slice of cheese, one baby spinach leaf, and then I squeeze just a "dot" of ranch dressing. After all is said and done, it looks a little something like this...


One of my roommates tells me it's uber boring. I think it's good, and I'd totally make it the next time I have guests over; a perfect thing to serve along with wine and cheese, don't you think? And it fills me up those nights when I don't feel like eating dinner. In truth, it will hold me over for like a good 45 minutes, but to satiate myself further I'll drink tons of water or tea, and then force myself to go to sleep. HA. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Of course, I'd rather be eating this at night:


This is a pulled BBQ pork sandwich with fries & onion rings from L.A. Foodshow. I went to lunch with two friends there a few weeks back, and I took a picture of what was left before I tore into it. It was flavorful, the bun was soft, and the fries were... fries. I don't usually hate a fry, unless it's from In 'N Out, but even those I'll eat. Me and the roomies are actually headed to L.A. Foodshow tonight, so I'm hoping to do a full report soon.

V( --insert rest of word here--) DAY

Once more, the ever-commercialized "V" day has arrived... err--it's actually tomorrow, but there isn't a better day to de-glorify "V" day than today, Friday the 13th. Who could ask for anything more?

Sure, blame it on the Haterade. I guess I've been chugging a lot of the stuff down lately. But that aside, I am sure that I'm not the only one who thinks that "V" day is nothing more than an overrated holiday. In truth, it should be called "Venereal" (as in disease) day, because it's more or less just another day to serve up love and sex on a platter. I mean I get it, People In Love, this day is for you. Valentines Day is specifically for you to smooch every 5 minutes... to use up all of the flippin' dinner reservations in the city... to buy out the shelves of champagne, wine, cookies, cakes, whip-cream, ice cream, yada-yada-yada... to leave the kids with the grandparentals or babysitters... to sneak-in late at night... to do it for hours on end (if the stamina to last that long is still there). I get it, she gets it, and so does he... shit, the bum on the corner of Lincoln and Pico gets it, too. WE GET IT.

Don't think that just because I'm a single person that this note comes with malice. No, it does not. In fact, I pride myself in my current state of singleness because I just like it that way. But where in the calendar of days does it list a holiday specifically for ME?! Where are the "Happy Singles Day" cards, candy, and balloons? How about those "Thumbs-Up for being single!" t-shirts? And... and... the "Honk If You're Single" bumper stickers? Where the hell are they hiding those?

I'm not bitter. I'm just OVER it. In essence, "V" day is just another excuse for people to throw their love into other peoples' faces. Think about it the ramifications of this, will you? Think about all the lonely people out there who will fall into the post-"V" day slump, and walk into Ralph's to raid the clearance "V" day aisle, and drown themselves in the bags of un-sold Hershey's Kisses and "V" day Peeps! Those are the people who, in the end, will suffer ... they will eat themselves to obesity, and when you look into their eyes, all you will see is pure, unadulterated DISDAIN. And who will be to blame? Capitalism? Commercialism?

Think about that!
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In other news, I bought a new pair of boots yesterday! Saw them on-line for $125, but found them on another site for like $40! Who says you can't purchase happiness in a recession?!

"Happiness in a recession"

LETTER LACED WITH HATER-ADE

I just drank a bottle of Hater-ade, and decided to write this public letter to Beyonce Knowles regarding her song, "Ave Maria," which is on her latest album – I Am…Sasha Fierce.

Dearest Sasha Fierce,

I hate to break it to you, but your "Ave Maria" song is probably one of the dumbest songs that I have ever heard. It doesn’t even make sense.

Sasha, do you even know what “Ave Maria” means? From the lyrics of your song, it seems like you’re turning the phrase into a mantra for “exhaling.” Do you need to exhale? Whitney already did that, boo. Dig out the soundtrack from under all of your own CDs (unless your dad threw it away, which wouldn’t be surprising). Do you need to find the voice within? Christina already did that. Go find that CD, too, while you’re at it.

You may need to talk to someone about your complex. You’re now comparing yourself to Mary, the Mother of Jesus. Umm, no. Beyonce does not equal "Ave Maria." Neither does "Sasha Fierce."

I’m not gonna lie… the music itself is beautiful, and you sing it beautifully. But after all is said and done, you are still singing “Ave Maria,” but not really. I just hope you haven’t run out of ideas that you had to make up your own version of “Ave Maria” without really thinking it through. I mean we get it, B. You are so over-exposed that we get it. But “Ave Maria?”

Come on now! You know better than that, girl! Who do you think you are? Solange?

Frenemies,

W.