UGLY-SHOES CENTRAL

I love my Saturday mornings. I love not having to wake-up to an annoying set of alarms (I have two). I love being able to sleep in (although for some strange reason I still end up waking up around 7AM no matter what time I go to bed the Friday night before). I love waking up to make a fresh pot of GREAT coffee (because the coffee at work sucks; and I work for a hospitality chain... go figure). I love actually cooking a Saturday-morning breakfast. I love the idea of doing absolutely nothing, but almost always ending up finding something to do.

I had to drop something off at the post office, so I pushed myself out of the apartment about a half-hour past noon. Then I did the obvious: Saturday recon at The Promenade. If time permits, and lately this has been a Saturday morning ritual for me, I would get up and head over to The Promenade. It's kind of dangerous that I live so close to it. It's even more dangerous that the list of stores runs like a litany of my patron saints: Zara, MNG, Banana, Club Mon, J. Crew, Urban, Benetton, etc. Throw in Barnes & Noble, Border's, Jamba Juice and The Coffee Bean and I've got my own personal resort (of sorts). Top that off with the Saturday morning Farmers' Market that takes place right on Arizona. Combine all of these things to make a perfect Saturday morning in SaMo. This is my life. What the hell?

I couldn't help but notice, as I usually do, the different kinds of shoes that were worn on The Promenade this morning. And suffice to say, I think it's definitely safe to conclude that the L.A. area is definitely "ugly-shoes central." My friends and I are always having conversations about how all of the ugly shoes in the country seem to find their way to Los Angeles to die. But bless the hearts of all those who go and buy them anyway.

The weird thing is that so many people claim L.A. to be some fashion mecca. In some ways, sure. If you're looking for premium denim, then L.A. is definitely the place to be. Same with all of that "Hollywood/Rocker chic" madness which, to me, is nothing short of a good idea gone bad. I'm personally over cross bones and bleeding hearts on everything from jackets and t-shirts. Oh, and the annoying "Ed Hardy" logos that are splashed across those equally annoying t-shirts that everyone seems to want to wear is so... annoying. Wearing logos was so high school/college.

I guess L.A. will never be NYC or London, Paris, Milan, or even Tokyo. But it's definitely got it's own charm. But somehow the shoes that come to L.A. have been devoid of anything remotely charming. I mean you can walk down Melrose, Main St. in Santa Monica, or even in Old Town Pasadena and find an amazing set of shoes in random stores, but why is it that no one seems to want to wear those out? Instead, I find poorly-chosen shoes that obviously missed the re-call inspection that should've rightfully kept them from seeing the light of day.

One chick was wearing these red pumps. They were tomato red, and had these ugly white pieces of frayed cloth sticking out from inside the shoe. I wanted to believe that she had mistakenly inserted toilet tissue in her shoe, but when I took a closer look I found that I was wrong. I wanted to whip out my camera phone to take a snapshot, but then my eyes caught another pair. Some older woman wore this half-boot/half-shoe creation that had a panty-hose-like sheer wrap thingy going on all up and down her ankles. I forgave her because she looked like she was 60-something. But after a minute or so I had to renig on that. That choice she made before she walked out her house this morning was nothing short of fucked-up.

Then the dudes. Man. I thought that the guys back home in the DC area had some of the most boring tastes in shoes. The men in L.A. are definitely not boring when it comes to shoe choice, but that doesn't mean that they're any better than the women. I saw a man wearing these moccassin-style boots, which might've looked good if he were sleeping in a wigwam. I mean, really? Was he that serious? Still, another guy was wearing these boots that looked hot from afar, but the close-up glimpse almost blinded me. Fellas, do NOT sport bling on your shoes. Put that shit on your fingers, on a chain, or even in your mouth, but don't be puttin' that shit on your shoes! The rhinestone cowboy look was out when I was like 2 years old.

Luckily my ugly-shoe sightings were halted when I got to Zara. I eyed a jacket on the mannequin in the window, went inside, found it, tried it on, and bought it. Knowing what other damage could've been done in that same vain, I left The Promenade as soon as I made that purchase. And if I know what's good for me, I won't go back there in the next few Saturdays to come.

No more spending, and hopefully no more ugly-shoe sightings at The Promenade for me.