WORST. FRIES. EVER. (or not)

Those of you who know me well also know that when it comes to fries, my knees go weak. (French) Fries are practically my kryptonite. Sad, I know. How anyone can deny the awesomeness that are fries baffles me to no end.

Yahoo! Health recently posted an article titled "America's Worst French Fries (and What You Should Eat Instead)." Penned by two editors from Men's Health magazine, the article goes right into some of the "worst" fry options in several categories. Based on their findings, this is what we now know of American fries:

WORST CURLY FRIES: Arby's Curly Fries (Large), clocking in at 640 calories & 34 grams of fat. (The 'better' option from Arby's? An order of small Homestyle Fries, with roughly half the calories and fat.)

WORST WEDGE FRIES: Jack in the Box Bacon Cheddar Wedges, with 715 calories & 45 grams of fat. (Incidentally, I don't remember these being on Jack's menu...?!)

Best of the worst: Arby's Curly Fries & Jack in the Box's cheddar cheese fries

WORST FRIES FOR YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE: Dairy Queen Chili Cheese Fries, which boasts a whopping 1,240 calories. Why anyone would want fries from "Dairy Queen" is beyond me. Hello, ice cream and/or Blizzards only. Thanks.

WORST REGULAR ORDER OF FRIES: Large order of Five Guys Fries, which truly is a sopping mess of 1,424 calories. Fat. Pure fat. (They say that a half serving of their regular fries is better.)

WORST FRIES IN AMERICA: Chili's Texas Cheese Fries w/Jalapeno Ranch ---which sounds amazing...! But for 1,920 cals, not so much. Again, Chili's offers "homestyle fries" as the "better" option. *YAWN*

Apparently, the best fries in America still go to those Golden Arches. A small order of McD's french fries are still the best in the U.S. Which doesn't say much. For those who are actually a little more worldly, and believe that - yes, there is a world outside the United States, you must know that America simply does NOT have the best fries in the world. While the French may have coined the term, my heart (and vote) actually goes out to the Belgians, whose frites are simply the best fried potato sticks in all the Universe & World! (Note: The DC area needs to get on the bandwagon and open up a frites shop. DC, why are you so 10 years later with stuff, like cupcakes...?) And how genius are they for their specialty "dipping sauces...?" Gosh, I love those Belgians. Between their frites, their waffles, and their beers -- I just don't know which tops that totem pole. I give them all a big, fat '10!'

frjtz: My favorite Belgian frites shop in San Francisco

Special mention, however, goes out to the Canadians... French Canadians, to be exact. After all, they are the geniuses who were the promulgators of the ever-so-popular-yet-disgusting-at-the-same-time fries with gravy. And I'm not talking about the lame American version. The French Canadian Poutine Québécoise is a carefully prepared dish of French fries, topped with fresh cheese curd, covered with brown gravy. (No, I'm not talking about cheap-a$$ American cheese in a can, either.) Poutine has evolved to become a popular "greasy spoon" staple in Quebec, and most of Canada, spawning versions that crossed both the American and Mexican borders. (Think American cheese fries, or Mexican carne asada fries; the latter being YUM.)

Poutine Québécoise (Photo: Francis Vachon)

Needless to say, I have just gained an additional 7,000 pounds writing/typing this post. Yum.